2020 Tech News Bingo

Disney will acquire a AAA game publisher in order to consolodate it's control of your media consumption habits.

The publisher in question is EA. Somehow we still don't have a decent Star Wars game to play for another decade.

Tesla's latest design revision for their cybertruck has critics and fans sharply divided on the new, controversial look.

Instead of a low-poly Delorian, the cybertruck now looks like a low-poly Crash Bandicoot.

Microsoft starts charging their users for "non-critical" Windows 10 updates in a service they call Windows 10 Live Gold.

They revive MS Paint as W10LG's "killer app".

Two leaders of open source projects will retire this year.

Just in time, too, as Twitter was about to cancel them.

Electronic Arts shows off the new Command & Conquer remaster; eminently more playable than the original.

They even announce it is coming to Linux.

Bryan Lunduke successfully completes an entire year without social media or mobile data.

Instead, he spends his time with his family and lives a more authentic and fulfilling life.

An expose on Mark Zuckerberg reveals his true motivations for starting Facebook.

Turns out, he's actually an IG-model assassin droid wrapped in a meat-puppet. All he's ever wanted to do was destroy civilization and he's SO CLOSE to realizing his goal.

It is revealed that the Chinese government requires all foriegn companies doing business there must implement backdoors for the regime.

Somehow the tech companies had "no idea" and simultaneously claim "that's just the cost of doing business with China... and you want your cheap crap, don't you?"

The Librem 5 Evergreen ships on schedule with its promised featureset.

The goalpost-movers still somehow consider it a "scam"

Half-Life: Alyx is released, breaks records.

Outsells Wii Sports.

The open source world becomes enbroiled in a scandal the likes of which we've not seen in years.

The scandal involves pornstars, BitCoin, and declassified FISA court records.

Leaks from the Googleplex show that the once dominant web firm is on the verge of all-out civil war.

YouTube takes the opportunity to secede from Alphabet, YouTubers elect Ethan Klein of H3H3 Productions the new CEO.

Canonical is acquired by a major player in the tech world.
(Free Space)

Canonical's new parent company? Amazon. And Ubuntu becomes a proprietary distro for AWS.

Disney debuts their new AI assistant.

It's worse than Siri, but because you can change assistant's voice to any Disney character, it becomes the most popular AI assistant in the world.

Launch details are given for the Xbox Series X®.

It's slated to come in five different flavors.
  • Series X® Founder's Edition
  • Series X® ES
  • Series X® SX GT
  • Series X® Triple X
  • Series X® I Went to College to Learn how to Name Products Edition

LBRY breaks new ground as it rolls out new features that are actually useful for creators.

Livestreaming through the blockchain becomes a thing.

Alphabet launches a new "privacy initiative" meant to put people's minds at ease over their ubiquitous surviellance.

Meanwhile, they activate the microphones they "accidentally" included in their Nest® thermostats to determine if you're "worthy of privacy."

Facebook demos six new Oculus® headsets in 2020.

...flooding the VR market with even more trashy headsets.

Four more major Hollywood studios launch their own streaming services.

Warner Bros puts every Looney Tunes short on their service, including the racist ones. Twitter absolutley loses their f***ing mind. And really, that's exactly what they wanted.

Microsoft "retires" legacy Windows applications and services for Windows 10 Home edition.

Their say that Windows 10 user telemetry shows it's not "widely used enough to justify further support".

Google announced six AAA exclusives for Stadia.

And yet, there's still nobody playing Stadia.

A new cryptocurrency catches the fancy of crypto-enthusiasts, leading to a boom and subsequent bust.

...you know... because gamblers never learn their lession.

YouTube enacts a new policy meant to make the platform "safer" for creators.

The policy actually bans any channel that has used the word "jumbo" in a video, because of it's historically insensitive nature. Get woke.

With Windows 7 reaching its end of service, many banks "rush" to secure their ATMs which now run obsolete software

Well, I say "rush" but that's only after a swathe of ATMs get hacked. They don't care unless they're losing money.

Wal-mart and Amazon team up in a joint technology venture to "improve the employee experience".

Employees are required to accept a subdermal microchip in order to be added to payroll, to clock in/out, or even be addressed by name by their superior.